Firstly I want to say thanks so much for everyones help. You all went to so much effort for me and it makes me feel overwhelmed that people care that much. I am not worthy.
I have been thinking a lot…surprised? No? I am a big thinker, perhaps that explains why I have found so many new grey hairs recently.
Mr Big Time Charlie and I need to talk, it’s probably going to be one of the most serious conversations we have ever had. He’s left all the treatment decisions up to me previously, well I think we have reached that point where he has to face the music too and talk things through properly. Inevitably that will mean we both have to say how we feel…..I’ll get the tissues ready.
I have moved a few things on, without the need to make decisions. I have booked a follow up consultation with Mr A, it’s Monday 1st September. I have also filled in all the paperwork for a consultation at the Top London clinic. Maybe other people’s opinions will help shape our decision making. I know Top London clinic like your FSH to be under 10, mine is 13, so I can imagine if we chose that route, I would have to have monthly blood tests until it was nearer the magic 10 mark…that’s if it ever gets lower than 13. I have also started some groundwork on overseas clinics for DE treatment. I have a list of Spanish clinics, they differ quite a lot by price, the most expensive tend to be the ones with no waiting list and the highest success rate.
So I think I have made progress without having to make any decisions.
My Mum and Dad have been talking to me loads. I think it has helped keep their mind off Meggy dying. They are in Wales at the moment in their static caravan. Mum asked me to go and see them. I want to see them for a number of reasons, mainly for TLC and to look after my Mum too. So Mr BTC and I are packing up later tonight and heading there till Monday. I think it will be good to get away from our house, get some sea air and think about other things. My sister, bro in law and nephew are there too (as well as Super Gran who lives there) so I am looking forward to seeing them all. My sister has a 4 month old puppy that I haven’t seen…..can’t wait for a cuddle.
So have a good weekend everyone, thanks again and I’ll catch up with you next week.
Filed under: Family, Next steps, Sad
I hope you’re not reading this until you’ve arrived back home and that you had a wonderful weekend! You deserve a break!
Bee Cee–
I have been “away” from blogland–and I’m just catching up, Ugh–I’m so sorry the IVF was a bust. I know there aren’t really any words that can magically make it all better–but hopefully you are getting the support you need here and in real life. Not having gone through IVF myself, I don’t feel qualified to offer advice. Just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you….
I hope you have a fantastic time with the family. You deserve it!
Bee Cee-
I wish you all the best, while you’re thinking about your next step. I know how hard of a decision this must be, and I’m so sorry you even have to be at this point. I know in my heart how much you deserve to have happiness & I hope with everything I have that you will get all the happiness you deserve, 10-fold!
xoxo
Hi again darling
Don’t stress the FSH thing. They do treat you if your FSH is higher. Mine’s been in the high 12’s at times but it does fluctuate. They WILL treat you if yours is higher or won’t come down but it’s worth waiting for it to come down as it seems to make a difference.
Enjoy being with your family. I’ll try you on the phone.
Take some time to recover. This cycle must have been a real shock to your system as well as the usual roller coaster of hormones. xxx
Good luck with everything. I hope the serious talk goes well and you get whatever it is that you decide YOU want. And have a fabulous weekend with the family!
AHH. So sorry! I was away and not checking blogs since Sunday.
I am all for talking to the big guns. This may sound silly and woo woo, but my FSH when way down when I was doing acupuncture (like three points). And I am not a ‘true believer’.
Did you read Chez Miscarriage? She’s been offline since Oct ‘05, but she flew from chigago to CA for a second opinion on her uterus (T shaped), and as awful as it was to get the cold hard facts, it really helped her move on to a gestational carrier. I hope you find someone who can help the two of you make a decision you can live with.
Great idea to get away and go home a bit. I can’t remember if you tried the DHEA for the FSH but I am sure your doctor has already recommended some things. Enjoy the weekend. I think it is a long one there right? 3 days?
Enjoy your weekend with your parents. Moms always know how to make things better!
TLC from Mom is ALWAYS the best thing after a crappy cycle… Sure you’ll have enjoyed your weekend away! Good luck for the talk with Mr BTC, I always get all teary eyed when I have to have the big talks with Cliff…
You’re in my thoughts and prayers always my friend!
HUGS!
xxx
I am so sorry for the outcome of this most recent cycle. You have so much to think about, I cannot even imagine. I hope you find some peace and clarity in the coming weeks.
*hugs*
Just thought I’d check in on you… I hope you’re doing ok! ((hugs))
i hope your weekend away is relaxing and rejuvenating.
just a note on the 0% fertilization, and this may be no help to you at all but since you’re tossing around the idea of switching clinics i thought i’d share. i mentioned to my perinatalogist when i was pregnant that we’d previously had zero fert at our clinic and that was one of the things i thought was “wrong with me” and his reply was that would be highly unlikely. he said that when there is no fert it is almost always the result of factors related to the clinic/lab environment/etc. that would seem to fit with the fact that you’ve never seen this result before – it could well have been some fluke in the clinic rather than an egg/sperm problem.
Just checking and hoping you are doing as well as can be expected…
Hey you… I’m just getting back into the blogging world since we arrived home but wanted to check in with you and see if you had any updates. How are you doing?
xoxo
Sorry I missed a chapter.
This is all so very difficult and I don’t have and advice for you. I hope you and your husband have managed to come up with a plan.
I am also considering the London clinic as a last ditch attempt but its still a gamble huh? I’m not sure I can do it.
Hope your time away has been relaxing and you’re managing to get through this xx
Hey BeeCee. Just checking in to let you know you are in my thoughts.