Not so lucky after all

My lucky socks didn’t quite do it for me. HCG less than 1.
Can’t really say what I am feeling right now, other than I never seem to catch a break.
All that effort, and for what? Just another truck load of tears and the reality that I will never have a biological baby.

11dp 3dt

I know I said I wouldn’t test but it is killing me. The thought of the “call”, is sending me into a wild panic.
Ok, straw poll needed please girlies. Would you test to prepare yourself?

10dp 3dt

I often wondered what it would be like on death row. In some very small way, I think I get it. My heart is starting to pound louder by the day, every time I wake up, whether it’s 2 am or 6 am, my brain immediately goes into overdrive.
I am sat in my cell. I [...]

7dp 3dt

Pretty back to normal here. Very little on the toilet paper front. Occasionally, a tiny amount of brown when I wipe but otherwise a clean bill of health.
No symptoms or signs of any infection….anywhere. So, I am hoping it is just a blip. After all, if your body is not giving you any signs, it can’t be [...]

6dp 3dt

Yesterday was a much better day in the toilet paper department. There was some ’stuff’ on the paper throughout the day but none of the volume of Wednesday. It was also a definite brown colour rather than the red/brown scary colour of the day before.
I really haven’t a clue what it is, but I am [...]

5dp 3dt

The bleeding got worse before it got better and it definitely went more of a red/brown than just a brown, so not just ‘old’ blood.
About 8 p.m last night I went to the toilet again and it was definitely easing up. From then on I was up and down checking every hour and from 10 p.m [...]

Can my heart take this?

So we are 4dp 3dt.
Went to the toilet and there was browny stuff on the paper and a drop in the toilet. I called TLC, they said it could be old stuff from the EC. I haven’t had any reaction to EC at all this time, apart from a bit of blood on the day [...]

Outed

Damn, one of my old school friends found me on twitter. It’s my bloody fault, I registered under my ‘real’ email address.
There’s loads of IVF stuff on there (well was) and if he’d have read for just one minute he’d have seen that we’ve just tried our IVF #6. Shit, that’s stuff that some of [...]

Hhhmmmm

TLC called today. The two remaining embryos have not made it. She did say that one made it to the ‘cavitation’ stage (never heard of it…have you?) so she sees this as a good sign for the two that were transferred.
Me, I am in two minds. Pleased that she was happy this might mean good things but [...]

Hi honey, I’m home

I’m back folks.
Has it really only been a week since I posted? It feels like a lifetime ago.
I haven’t had access to the internet so apologies for keeping some of you on tenterhooks. It’s been lovely to come back to so many thoughtful messages, thanks so much.
Ok so here’s the update:
After I last posted, I hightailed (it [...]